Pawing At My Heart

In troubling times, we can all turn to feline friends for a small dose of comfort. I think too often we tell someone how much they mean to you when they’re gone. So, from my archive of truly adoxographical musings, an ode to my cat.

dear cuddles,

yes. you are a cat. you don’t really read (at least you’ve never read any of MY writing and I’d like to think it’s just because you cannot rather than you’re just petty). you won’t understand the words of this little letter – but I hope you feel them.

I remember the day I first saw you. sitting alone on the carpet, fresh from a bath after being found in the dustbin by a friend of a friend. “how?” I thought to myself, “how could someone throw away such a wonderful kitten – such a cute little creature – without a second thought?” you fit neatly into my palm and that’s where you stayed during the drive home. my hands are still small now – although bigger than they were at seven years old in the backseat – but you have grown exponentially. you’re sitting in my lap right now – curled up in a safe haven, tucked away from the other pets who’s energy and mischief make you swish your tail in annoyance. but if I stroke your head you purr and when I leave you alone too long you meow and I like it that way: just you and I against the world.

cuddles, this year you are turning eleven. eleven! that’s a lot of years! when you say it out loud, I’m instantly reminded of how much of my life you’ve been there for, how many memories you’ve shaped. in fact, if we do a few little sums, I’ve known more of myself when you’re curled up by my side than before I ever met you.

so you can sit on my lap and keep me from getting up as long as you’d like. I’ll buy you fancy food bowls and spam all my friends with pictures of you being. you can stretch yourself out by my legs at night and twitch while you dream. I’ll sprinkle cat nip on the floor for our small little birthday parties.

dear cuddles, you are just a cat. and yet – you’ve nuzzled yourself a rightful place in my world. and I know the rules – you don’t move when a cat is lying on you. so I get pins and needles but it’s worth it. I wouldn’t have anyone else pawing at my heart.

– love from, chanel (your human)


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